Hey mate,

Two quick updates here on the dating world from The Social Man.

If you don’t like cold approaches for whatever reason (anxiety, time, logistics and etc.) this program might be just for you. It’s designed for online dating sites (including Facebook).

Here is quick preview of “Push Button Dating“:

The program it contains FIVE modules connected in a system which used in the right sequence will increase your success dramatically in the online dating world.

Quick look on each module:

• Curiosity – The purpose of this step is to ignite her interest. Stand out of the masses and the crowds. Includes creation on the profile and what pictures you must put in.
• Playfulness – In short – flirting. Chasing each other around, teasing and playing. The idea is to build positive emotions associated with you.
• Imagination – Building connection with the girl. Basically planting the idea of her wanting to meet you in the real world (our goal of course), not stuck at flirting over the net.
• Safety – Naturally a guy over the internet can be anyone. This module will help you build trust so she can see you as safe guy (i.e. not dangerous).
• Arousal – Get her ready for the first meeting with you so things go faster than usual.

Also there are some bonuses included in the package.

As you can see the following modules show one very natural progress of an interaction.

Your job is to register in such site, create profile with some right pictures and begin sending messages (which they teach you form up). And of course – go on the dates.

My personal experience with one such program didn’t meet it’s hype (Internet Dating Insider), was it the type of sites I was using it or the country I live in. “Push Button Dating” however seem to put a lot much depth into this one – each module covers important step in the whole dynamic. Also judging from other Social Man products, those guys tend to know their stuff. Expect review sometimes soon.

You can read more about “Push Button Dating”. The program itself is $97 at the moment.

Another thing – The Social Man’s primary program “Unbreakable” costs increases from $47 to $97 starting from…well you reading this blog post. The price was really low for that one (11 part video program, excluding bonuses). I guess they decided is was about time to increase it.

(side note – by this time when I checked, they’re still at $47)

Anyway – you can check Unbreakable for yourself.

Do you remember one of your first crushes on a girl way back? Probably early in school or even before that? If this was a person you lost touch with for few years and then met again the chances are you were no longer that keen on her anymore. She might not be that fun, attractive, bright she was before. (Ok, she might be even more than before, but bear with me in this one).

I’ve had few such experiences in my life. Had a crush on particular girl, lost touch for few years, then we met again and it wasn’t the same at all. Back then I wasn’t thinking about that topic and the reasons. However recently the question “why” was knocking on my head.

Why is that certain women are no longer that attractive (in all aspects) to a person, but before there were … how they say it – “the sh*t”?

I’ll go on a little bit scientific point of view here:

With the growth of a person (intellectually, physically, emotionally and even spiritually) his needs also change. Those needs do cover his choice of women. So when you gain wisdom and experience in life – it is very normal for you to change your preferences in women. You might need someone more mature emotionally, more self dependant, or more passionate. Even more physically attractive (biological preferences begin kicking in … you know – babies).

That said, someone you knew before might not match your new criteria anymore. And the opposite – someone who you knew but never was in your scope of interest now might catch your attention.

Most people change with time, so it’s normal their needs to change, thus relationships end and start.

Usually if two people live together they grow with similar pace. However of one begins to stay back at some level (for any reason), while the other goes up – it’s very possible that they will no longer be happy together. The one that doesn’t want to grow (or can’t) will draw the other one back. He might also even thing that the growing one is losing his mind. At this point a relationship usually ends being beneficial, starts being a chore (and usually ends).

This whole thing went to my mind by observing people that I know and that they always end up attracting the same type of people. It was curious case for me and then I remembered this saying:

“If what you’re doing isn’t getting you the results you want, it’s time to change what you’re doing”.

Or in that context – the current growth (on all levels) on that person is attracting (and is attracted to) specific type. Unless the person grows (or makes some kind of change in his behavior) it’s unlikely to change the outcome.

I know this is not the only factor of preferences and success of the relationships between people, however it takes rather big role (and make sense).

Do you have similar experiences?

Falling in Love – this particular phenomena that happens all the time. While I’ll not focus on the technical details – here you can find more about it from various points of view.

http://health.howstuffworks.com/relationships/love/why-do-we-fall-in-love.htm

http://www.howtoarticlesabout.com/people-falling-in-love/

With this said I have to add something from me. Knowing it doesn’t make you resistant or immune.

I’ll share something a little more personal than usual. It happened three-four months ago where I happened to begin falling in … love. With the wrong person.

This is the exact moment where I got out of alignment. My emotions and my logic began separating themselves one from another. It’s really bizarre feeling. Not that it didn’t happen before. It was just now I was fully aware of it and yet somewhat powerless to it’s effects.

From one side logic was telling me – “Dude, you bot got completely different views of the near future, hook up deeply and you’re way off your plans” yet something else was telling “It doesn’t matter dude, just let yourself in!”. It’s like you’re losing sober thinking while…thinking.

As logical person this was completely changing my point of view (and reminded me past experiences). And I don’t like that. If I fall for the right person (according my views), this deviation might be a lot, lot smaller, thus won’t create this friction between logic and emotions.

Here comes the override mode – you want to do something very stupid (like calling few times a day, get wussy and clingy) and yet you hold yourself to it. It’s like opening a manual that is saying “If you want to do this, then DON’T!”. Masculinity down the drain.

Why the wrong person?

I gave you few hints. It’s someone that have rather different view of the world than myself. Mixing it would changed my point of view one way or another which ultimately may lead to me losing my passion. We all know this guy who was so cool and passionate about his things and then he fell for a girl. Later they begin living together and you couldn’t recognize the guy. His passions, his way of seeing the world, making an impact – all gone. He was turned into the average guy.

I don’t know about you but I don’t want that.

Having past experience and of course – knowledge I did the “saving” move. I cut my contacts with that person. It wasn’t that bad as I expected it to be. Slowly I regained my perspective back. “What was I thinking, duh!”.

This question however remains – Why did I fall in for someone that didn’t share my goals at all? Was it because of physical traits? Was it for the voice, the touch, the experiences? Something specific I didn’t had before? Who knows, maybe one day I’ll discover.

In the seduction community or however you can call it there is big debate about the pick-up lines and techniques. Many claim that they can mess you up a lot while other worship their methods. As usual people circle around both extremes and as usual the truth is somewhere in between. Let’s dig in this one – trust me, it’s worth it. (this is going to be a long post)

The typical pick-up approach is systematized. With concrete steps and indicators when to proceed with the next. Like a script. This may help you if you’re clueless but at the same time removes everything natural from the interaction. Follow that system long enough and you’ll find yourself doing it every time you see cute girl (even she’s not your type). It will become almost as a habit. The problem here? It can mess up your natural feeling for interactions.

Some pick-up guys post that the girl they are “gaming” feels like they don’t actually like her (although they do create attraction). I don’t know about you but I miss the alignment here. Getting score? Playing for the statistics? Feeding your ego?

Check out this quick video from the guys from RSD – (link on YouTube)

Especially this line:

“A guy who’s doing pick-up is the only guy in the world who can approach a girl he’s not even attracted to and be depressed that she didn’t show attraction for him!”

I mean, focusing on the wrong outcome can have results like this! It can actually damage your inner game more than before trying. You can feel bad for something you didn’t even care before! (i.e. putting importance on relevant things).

One biggest problem we observe is guys that for example study Mystery method (one of the first pick-up models) is that they can dig so much in the “rules of the game” that they close themselves for every other possibility out there. They create something like blindness to the world, except their method. Completely ignoring all social dynamics that occur out of that model. Worst – they claim all else to be worthless, ineffective and “AFC” (similar as lame).

Newsflash – social dynamics existed long before (for example – as humans existed) the pick-up methods and still exists outside those models. The problem is that those guys see it with its full contradiction with their model and beat themselves up because they don’t have a clue why for example the certain guy hooked with certain girl.

Many will claim the new social communications as Facebook, Skype, Text messages to be “AFC” and lame, thus they will never use them. This isn’t about effectiveness and improvement, this is about not being able to let go of your ego.

I personally know a lot, I mean A LOT of guys that hooked up via long chats in Skype, messages on Facebook, texts and so on. Discarding those is just limiting to you. One thing is not being able to use them well or not preferring them, another thing is claiming those as ineffective.

Also some claim the old school “friend hooking” to be lame as well. Dude, seriously? If friend can introduce you, that’s probably one of the best ways to meet someone new. The light they’ll see you will be a lot different than if you approach them on the street. Don’t get me wrong – approaching people is one of the best skills out there, but don’t ignore the normal social dynamics that were in place long before and most importantly – that WORK, just because it isn’t someone’s method. Don’t fight the system, utilize it!

Christian Hudson, one of the creators of The Social Man brings one very good post about the pick-up artist lingo. He gave me permission to post it here:

“As I write this, it’s a beautiful Sunday morning in May. We’ve just launched our B4UTXTHER program, and we’ve got a lot of new guys posting on this forum. Next month, we’ll be rolling out a program on online dating called Push Button Dating, and we expect another influx of new members of this community. So I wanted to take a moment to comment on some of the ideas and phrases being tossed around in here.

Things you’ll never hear coming from our mouths:
- sarge
- set
- gambit
- routine
- pattern
- number close
- I’m sure there are others

Here’s the bigger issue: Language is the representation of thoughts. And in my opinion, there is a lot of language in the PUA (pickup artist) community that reinforces unhelpful thought patterns and beliefs. For example, let’s say you’re with your friend and see two girls who you want to approach:

Us: “Hey dude, those girls are really cute, let’s go talk to them, I bet they’re fun.”

PUA: “Bro, look at that 2-set. Let’s go game them. How do you want to open the sarge?”

What’s the difference? Well, implicit in the former is an us + them mentality. We don’t see them as the enemy, as foreign lands to be conquered, or as an alien species. Implicit in the latter is an us vs. them mentality. Not only does in-group lingo create a psychological separation in your own head, but this particular lingo originated in a community of men who saw themselves as outsiders. Without some of the early thought leaders in the ‘seduction community’, this whole industry probably wouldn’t exist, but I’ll go on record to say that many of the erstwhile leaders of the PUA community did as much to screw men up as they did to help them.

The challenge for us – or opportunity, as I like to see it – is to help a guy like you become an “insider” with women. But it’s not just with women, it’s with everyone. When you assume that people like you, and that you have something to offer that people want, life gets pretty good.

The problem is that many guys who encounter PUA lingo already feel like outsiders. So adopting a few new phrases, and grafting a few new ideas, well… it’s not too much of a challenge.

The bigger challenge is in identifying the beliefs, attitudes and behaviors that caused you to feel and communicate like an outsider in the first place, and shift those. That’s something that takes more time and more work. It can challenge long-held notions of who you are, and be very uncomfortable. It can also challenge long-held notions of how the world works.

And the kicker is that it can be completely foreign, and difficult to understand for someone who’s on the “outside”. It’s taken me a lonnnnng time to understand the difference for myself – I definitely used to think of myself as an “outsider” – and even longer to figure out how to teach it to others.

That’s why we’re all here. This isn’t an insiders club for racking up notches on your bedpost or a place where an us vs. them mentality will be reinforced. But we also won’t soft-step around the fact that y’all want to do better with women.

Ultimately, we want you to do better with women BECAUSE you’re thinking in the right way, communicating in the right way, and being a great guy. That all starts with how you think and how you see the world and it manifests itself in your language.

So to everyone, thanks again for being a part of our community, and let’s all do what we can to create something unique, respectful, and self-empowering. The more it heads in that direction, the more powerful it will become and the more people it will touch and change – both those of us on here, and those with whom we interact in our day to day lives.”

He said it well enough. I can confirm it – using terminology to describe interactions with people will alienate you from them. It’s subconscious thing. I’ll repeat him here – Those guys don’t talk to girls, they “open sets”. They don’t joke and flirt – they “apply negs”. They don’t kiss the girl – they “kiss close”. It’s almost like girls are not humans any more, but strange species that require certain set of steps, like a code, to be utilized. (I have to admit after getting experience with the dating, you feel like you crack some code, but not in the extend of robotic puzzle).

You can check out Unbreakable – the system of The Social Man which follows the principles Christian just spoke about.  Their approach is one of my favorite because it’s feeling all natural. (Actually his team is from group called New York Naturals).

You can also read this article from the Pua Lingo (http://www.pualingo.com/blog/how-much-jargon-is-too-much-jargon/) with the same topic: “How Much Jargon Is Too Much Jargon?” and the post from David Wygant you can follow in the same article (http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/are-you-a-wpua/).

Let me share a story how the pick-up methods messed me a little. I tried to apply a system that at that time I was feeling completely unnatural to me. Yes, I got out of my comfort zone by far, yet it only created stronger resistance to approaching in the end. Interesting huh? Some time had to pass (months) for me to relax from this state, so I can improve further.

Another bad habit I took was shooting stories whenever I started conversation. It was almost unintentional and usually completely out of the context. The habit I gained so I can tell the story no matter the vibe at that time. The problem? I got completely unresponsive to the dynamics of the conversation. Just shot my repertoire.

Actually this worked for some guys. They managed to get better and better, while I also do got better and better – it was this empty feeling, like I am doing something because I have to, not because I want to.

Some guys like me may find what is out of alignment and actually work to find a better way for themselves. Other however might not be so “lucky” so to speak and will dig in even more deep in their method, hoping that this empty feeling will go. Maybe it will, when they fall in love or something like that. Maybe it won’t which is kind of sad.

Few things to wrap this up. Don’t cast down if you can’t approach yet and you were hoping the pick-up to fix that. You can start slow, step by step and expand your comfort zone little by little (for example check out Carlos Xuma’s free approach anxiety annihilator ebook).

Also there is one big problem that many pick-up artists meet – they attract girls that they don’t actually like. Think about it.

I’m not bashing the pick-up here (ok, a little bit). I do sound harsh but it’s just to warn you about the obstacles I met. If it wasn’t the whole pick-up thing, we wouldn’t be here right now. However I believe there are better, more open minded methods that can fit individual people and help them improve faster with without frustration. That’s why I created this site!

Hello mate,

Today we’ll discuss the routines many pick-up artists use. You’ve probably heard of it, you may even use some in your game.

Let’s start from the description of this in the pick-up community.

What is this thing called routine? It’s ready material, typically some sort of line, question and similar thing that when done right, conveys certain qualities in the person that makes it, starts a conversation in a desired way, gives specific hints to a woman and etc. Things of this kind.

One typical example of routine is the old question which a person can use to approach people – “Who lies more, men or women?”, with it’s sequence (almost no matter what they say) “Oh? Because a friend of mine thinks that men lie more but for more little things and women lie …” You get the idea. The conversation goes on.

Or – the cube game which is simple pseudo psychology test which uses symbolic meanings  (i.e. subconscious mind) to “profile the girl”. You ask her to imagine certain things and then she gives you details about these things. Using the details she is giving, you magically reads her traits. It’s pretty fun and fairly inaccurate game in my opinion. I mean most of the conclusions you can give are valid for 90% of the people out there if not even more.

Or this example – assigning roles to the girls in a group “Who is  the wealthiest of you? You? We’re setting the marrage for Monday! But…we need, who is the best cook here? Ok you’ll be our master chef!”.

A lot of gurus don’t like the routines – claim them as fake. I admit, I agree with them – routines may deliver one very strange feeling that gives “fakeness” to the other person. The problem with that is guys tend to learn those almost by heart. And then they shoot them whenever they enter a conversation, like a child told to recite something it leaned the other day. It’s like the person is there, but not there. A slight change in his style might be detected and this slight change isn’t feeling natural to the other person around.

This is one thing. Another is – if it all goes well and the conversation continues what happens when the guy runs out of prepared materials? Most likely drastic change of the dynamics and his style. This leaves very awkward feeling. Showing something and then delivering another different thing.

The word routine itself is something you do repeatedly, as a habit. Washing your teeth every morning is routine. Putting your belt every time you get in the car is routine. That is ok. That is helpful. Saying same stuff when speaking to different people limits your mind. So do this cautiously.

Routines however have one very good purpose – they can override some inner issues the person is having at that moment. They can start conversation while otherwise it might be difficult for that person. They can keep the attention of someone that otherwise might be difficult for that person and so on. Actually the first I started I used ready materials myself. Using such can have benefits. And in some cases it can “save” a conversation that might be going nowhere.

My advice on this is – if you’re going to use ready routines and lines – pick such that you feel natural to you and your style. Don’t go with something you might never say or do (unless you want to stress yourself on purpose). Then try it in front of  the mirror several times. Is it ok for you? Does your style changes much, like a sales person trying to sell you something? If it feels natural – then you can apply it.

And please don’t get hooked up on it. I had a time where I used routines to my friends. I mean I was so caught in this thing. This wasn’t good, especially in my case it wasn’t my style at all.

Actually the best  thing is that if you’re going to use them at all – check out some, and then make some of your own. They will fit you, they’ll be part of you and they will feel natural to you. Believe me, the difference is noticeable.

If you’ve read this far – I got one very, very good honest approach for you. Next time you feel awkward, run out of conversation, or feel something isn’t right – just share it with the other person (don’t get overboard mushy-mushy emo style, not attractive). For example you go to talk to a girl but suddenly as you approach your mind goes  blank and you say: “Hey, I just came to talk to you but… I forgot what was I about to say.” and you smile and then introduce yourself. Like it’s the most natural thing that can happen (and it is since every person feels this way once in a while).

The other person typically will react positively. There might be occasions where she can try to stomp you “Oh, peace off!” and you feel a little disappointed, then say it “Oh, you looked a lot more friendly initially”.

This honest approach gives the following vibes of you:

• you are a person that is pretty comfortable with his feelings. A mature person that knows himself well. You have no problem opening yourself to total strangers;
• you are honest person and honesty is very attractive quality for other mature people. Yes, little pain in the butt girls will find you “weak”. But that’s not the point.

As a “side benefit” you’ll learn also to be comfortable with your emotions (again, not some mushy-washy wussy way). This is tough at the start, especially if you’re more introverted person (like me). But once you manage to get a hold of it – a lot of conversations will feel a lot more light and fluent to you. They’ll feel natural.

You won’t need the ready materials that much (or at all). This inner strength you’ll begin developing will help your progress a lot more. Getting to much used to routines will get you stuck with the progress.

For me – expressing emotions became so much easier this way. A lot less holding of things that I otherwise suppressed in myself. For example I can say no without the fear of offending someone. Before I was too much concerned about offending someone or what he’ll think about me. In short – life became a lot more enjoyable and light.

And for finish let me quote for you David DeAngelo:

If you want a fake woman, them be a fake man.

This will be topic to another article. Think about it – a lot of wisdom in that one.

The topic of attraction is rather big. What attracts women?

There are many things, some of which are the same for all female out there and some of which completely different.

However there is one thing universal - a man confident and in control of himself.

This however can be difficult to show by pure content of words. This is inner feeling that vibes out of you. It radiates via your body behavior. And believe me, women are masters of reading this body language. Scientists have proven that women are genetically better in reading the cues your body signals (mostly unconscious). Also consider the fact that women train themselves in their games and activities from very young age. They are far superior in this body language theme than us men.

But fear not my friend, you can learn what they got by talent. And most importantly – you can learn what attracts women so you can implement it in your body language.

You have noticed how different people stances change in different environment right?

A person in new situation with unknown other people around him might stand and move differently than being before his friends in his house for example. While we men might not detect that outright women certainly does.

“But isn’t that deceiving?” – you might a ask. There is always that point of view, which can be said actually for everything you learn (and don’t have by the gene pool) in that life. Body language works both ways – when you take the stance and position that conveys confidence, you actually begin to feel more confident, thus the new thing becomes more natural to you. Like self boosting system. This works also for the negative body language. It reinforces negative feeling and locks on it. So learning this thing will have quite a few benefits, even detecting and breaking out of bad states!

To learn the 3 simple ways you can improve your attraction right now, go and check my article on what attracts women in your body language.

Hi mate,

Today we’re going to discuss a common … let’s not say problem but a situation that  guys have with women. It’s called approach anxiety and basically stops you in your tracks when you’re about to approach a particular attractive girl.

Nasty feeling it is. If you’re reading this the chances are that you already have (or had) such unpleasant feeling. I can write all day about this thing.

Basically the situation comes into this problem. Part of  you wants to stay at your spot and don’t risk anything. No chance of rejection, no chance of embarrassment or anything. The focus is on stay. Another part of you wants to go and talk to the girl, to take that chance and manage the approach. The key here is go.

You can’t stay and go at the same time. This drains you completely out of energy making even more difficult to manage the approach anxiety.

(This concept was shown to me by Ross Jeffries in one of his random videos.)

Then how can we cure this? The funny thing is to actually start doing it and it will cure itself. But isn’t that contradictory? How can I approach when I can’t approach?

There is middle ground. I just wrote an article about this on ezinearticles that you can check out. You’ll see few simple ideas that can help you out. After reading, please leave a comment. I’ll appreciate it!

Our friends at The Social Man started another launch of their product called Become Unbreakable (their first official one).

This is video course on dating advice (of course) that gives you new perspective on the whole topic. It’s not the typical pick-up course you might have already seen someplace else.

There is free video in which Christian Hudson (one of the main heroes) explains how he got from the pick-up community and having mixed results into this new approach and getting consistent success with high quality women. He followed guys that are naturals with women and then deciphered what they do so he can explain it to other men. This is actually how David DeAngelo became good in this field. I mean – combine naturally good guy with naturally observant guy and you will have a system!

the video on Implied Investment

The video is called Implied Investment and explains the “investment” in the interaction with people. Basically investing way too much in the other person way to early might break it for you.

In the video Christian explains what is the typical pick-up approach in some situation and how that can attract women that are “value seekers” (which one sub-category is gold diggers). This is a mistake causing many guys to attract women which they don’t actually like (as it was mine also).

He also gives some cool tips that you can use right now – better version of Mystery’s kiss test that doesn’t show you that much cocky, yet deliver the same (if not better) effect. And when you watch this stuff, you’ll see how it completely fits a guy who is naturally having fun flirting (and you can learn).

Become Unbreakable Video (you’ll have to opt-in to see the video. Don’t worry Christian usually sends very few e-mails and most of the time they are worth it).

You’ll also get another free video of Instant attraction (probably the time you read this, the video is already uploaded). That second clip convinced me buy that program! It shows totally cool and natural way to create attraction without having to make yourself clown.

Go check out the free videos of Unbreakable

Note: I’ll write a complete review of the program soon after the launch.

People are usually unaware of that big aspect – they criticize other people about things that they do as the same habit.

For example someone may tell you he hates people that lie for small things, while ~30 minutes later he might lie about something small completely unaware he just did it.

This is only one example. People tend to do that a lot!

Here the psychology comes with the projection theory, that what people don’t like that in themselves, they project it outside on others (Keep in mind its simplified concept, the whole projection topic is big). This only hides the habit that person criticizes is the very same he possesses. If you are staying and watching this as a third party, unbiased by the situation – you can get very unpleasant feeling of this person.

My advice is to try keep aware when you criticize something that you don’t do the same thing yourself. Some people might not pay attention to this, but usually positive and high quality people will spot it right on and won’t be impressed by it. By general rule people like honesty and this is far from it.

What you can do right now is think of some moments where you remember criticizing something or someone and think of do you possess such habit or trait? If so, maybe you should change your point of view and of course,  try to get rid of that habit. Not a rocket science here.

Hey man,

The review of Pandora’s Box program is ready!

This is one of the best concept I’ve seen for a while! It’s whole main point is that it takes different girl personalities in consideration.

What’s the big deal? Well, I am sure you got friends which like girls that are absolutely different than your type. And that’s not only visual. Guess what – those girls actually respond to different things.

For example if you go with the same approach on different types – one may find you very fun and sexy, but the other may see you as goofball joker.

Or one may find you pretty masculine, while other may find you pretty rude.

I mean when you think about it it makes perfect sense! I remember that I was very easily offended by some reactions that were meant to be fun. Understanding different people allow you to connect a lot better and faster.

Pandora’s Box focuses on different type of girls and the general approach to those. Actually it really makes all other dating products make much more sense. You’ll begin to see what girl they target primary and why sometimes your masterfully cool approach may backfire in some scenarios, while the casual dude that doesn’t seem that much special goes with great success.

Gee, I still see people bash themselves on forums wonder why their Mystery method opener didn’t go at all, and some random “AFC” guy goes and have fun with the girl, they were just rejected by! This program brings sense to all this.

So, waste no further time and check out my review here:

Reviews -> Premium